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The Newsletter >
The Strange Case of the Missing Conversation
December 29, 2009
?Okay, let?s go.?
Surely the shock on my face could be seen from space.
?What are you talking about? Go where??
My husband made that face he makes when he thinks that I?m being obtuse or uppity. He makes that face a lot.
?Sherwood, I?m in my bathrobe. I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about or where you think that we are going,? I yipped.
I was, in fact, standing in my bathrobe?a great fluffy yellow affair tied with an old purple poke-a-dot bathrobe belt, because I lost the belt to my present great fluffy yellow affair and had to go back to the default belt from the purple poke-a-dot affair. I happen to know that I looked like an out of work circus clown.
?We talked about it.? He was insistent.
The furrows between my eyes became trenches.
?We talked about it? In this life? Where my eyes open??
?Sure, you know, that time when we talked about it.?
?Honey, look at my face.?
He looked at my face.
?See this?? I said, pointing at my face. ?This is shock. I could not be more shocked. Do you think that if we had talked about this I would look this shocked??
I pointed to my feet.
?See these?? I wiggled my toes in my No-Nonsense socks from Walmart. ?These are socks. I?m in my bathrobe and I have no idea what you think we talked about. I am not dressed for going to anywhere, nor will I be anytime soon.?
For the first time he seemed unsure of the alleged conversation.
?Well, . . . maybe . . . you forgot.?
I retied my purple poke-a-dot belt and tipped my furrowed forehead at him.
?Maybe, and maybe you have conversations in your head that you think I can hear because you?re thinking really loudly.?
His brow furrowed.
The conversation deteriorated from that point, but at least I remember that it occurred in this dimension.
I appreciate that my husband and I have been blissfully wedded for more than thirty years. I appreciate that he thinks we have reached a state of sync that means we can read each other?s minds. I appreciate ESP. I just wish it were true. Well, maybe next year.
Here?s to conversations that happen in real time and with audible words.
Linda (Read My Lips?Out Loud) Zern
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