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The Newsletter >
Put Down on the Farm
May 5, 2009
I could tell that the veterinarian’s receptionist was worried that I might be in a somewhat fragile state over the euthanasia of our horse, and that I should be handled delicately, because for a lot of people, people’s animals have become people’s people these days.
In a gentle voice, designed for maximum comfort, Miss Jay said, “Have you ever seen a horse,” she hesitated, “euthanized, Mrs. Zern?”
I thought hard. I wasn’t sure if watching folks shoot animals in the head and then dumping them in a hole counted.
“Well, no . . .”
“Have you ever seen a dog put to sleep?” Miss Jay asked.
I’d seen pigs butchered and chickens plucked. I once had a headless chicken come after me.
“Well, hmmm . . . actually . . .”
Her voice remained overly gentle, almost tender. “Well, horses can be a little less than elegant when they’re, you know, well, because the doctor will give them a shot to make them sleepy, and then they’ll . . . they’ll . . .” She struggled for the appropriately innocuous description.
“Crash over?”
She sounded relieved, “Yes, crash over . . .”
I decided to put her out of her misery. “Miss Jay, I know where hamburgers come from, and I used to watch my dad thump our rabbits over the head with a hammer on our farm.”
Her delight was immediate and the change in her tone complete. “Oh excellent, well in that case, you’re going to need to have someone dig you a pretty hefty hole and then . . .”
I gave old Sonny a good bath, braided his hair, and tied yellow ribbons in his hair. It turned out to be a lovely day to die, and the old horse went out of this life with his mouth still full of grass. Perfect. I should wish such a peaceful end for all of us.
Doctor Lee, our vet said, “I don’t know if this is indelicate timing, but if you don’t mind I’ll stick around to make sure he’s, he’s . . . gone.”
Oh brother, here came the hemming and hawing again, and so I gave him my rabbits getting thumped on the head speech. He looked relieved.
The doctor continued. “I once had an old farmer call me to put down his sick mule, but I only had ten minutes or so to spare because I was in the middle of calving season on another farm.
The old farmer said, ‘That’s fine, and I really should have put him down a year ago, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ve had this mule for twenty years, but he hasn’t eaten anything for three days. It’s time.’”
So Dr. Lee came over and gave the old mule the standard dosage of anesthesia. Later in the afternoon, Dr. Lee came to check on that mule but really to check on the farmer.
Walking out to the pasture, the veterinarian saw that the mule had gotten up, walked 100 yards, and was busy eating grass.
The old farmer said, “That mule hasn’t looked this good in three days.”
So Dr. Lee had to kill that mule again and he did.
Which just goes to show you, that if you’re going to kill something you should stick around long enough to make sure that they stay dead, and that’s my advice for the week.
Linda (Last Wishes) Zern
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