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The Newsletter >
College Age - Grade Redistribution
November 11, 2008
I have it. I have Obama fever.
I feel an uncontrollable desire to bring the principles of “redistribution” to every college campus in America.
I want to ensure that every student in the United States has the same shot at passing their classes as every other student, and so I am proposing that the overachieving “A” students be encouraged (by official decree and mandate) to “spread” the grade point wealth around. Every showoff “A” student shall be required to donate (by decree and mandate) a minimum of ten percent of their “A” grade—to be divided up among the lower scoring students at the discretion of the teacher.
This policy will ensure that those students whose lifestyle, circumstances, or popularity are an impediment to the effort necessary to achieve the highest grades in any given class will be able to compete on a level playing field.
“A” students not wishing to assist their fellow downtrodden students will be discouraged from banking their superior grade points in offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands.
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