The Virtual Office of
Author Linda L. Zern
To make you laugh, cry, think and sigh!

BEYOND THE STRANDLINE:  89% Five Star Reviews


                             AUTHOR PAGE:

Seventeen-year-old Tessla and her teenage sisters, Ally and ZeeZee, live by one rule: don’t venture beyond the perimeter of the family ranch. Years ago, solar flares burned the power grid to ashes, plunging the country into mayhem and instability, but as long as the girls stay behind the line of their grandfather’s property, they remain protected from savagery.

But when the call of the unknown proves too alluring for rebellious Ally to resist, Tessla must enlist mysterious Richmond Parrish to help rescue Ally from the trouble she’s walked into.

The Florida coast is overrun with warring tribes and pirates, and orphaned children-turned-soldiers roam the land.

The quest to find Ally leads Tess and Richmond into the epicenter of this barbaric new world, but even if they find her, now that they’ve left the safety of life at the S-Line Ranch, will they really be able to go back?

Beyond the Strandline is a thrilling story about the struggle to stay human in an inhumane world, the importance of emergency preparedness, the illusion of safety, and the power of love to redeem even the most desperate.







Available @ 

The Thousander Book Club: A Review

"One of the most admirable things about Mooncalf is that it's difficult to find a single wasted word in the entire book.  Granted the book is short; yet, it is very rare to find a book which treats with such delicacy the choosing of each word--each adjective, verb, and noun.  Themes, motifs, and symbols are everywhere throughout Mooncalf, and most impressive of all none of it is discarded.  Motifs and themes exist in big and small circles in Mooncalf, circling back in on themselves as well as intertwining themselves with the plot and the characters that inhabit it.  And those motifs and themes, those messages and those symbols, don't go away once you've finished the book.  They stick with you.  It's hard to forget Mooncalf."  (The Thousander Club)

Read the full review @


The Long-Promised Song

(Words and Pictures by Linda L. Zern, available through the Website Bookstore)








ZippityZern's:  A Collage


It's a collage or collection or clutch or bunch of stories. They're short. They're pithy. They're funny. Lots of people (who aren't the author) say so including the folks at who sent actual prize money.

Available @


A Review:  "Your "Collage" book is hilarious! I laughed out loud at some parts, and I don't usually do that. It takes a lot to make me laugh."  (Mary Laufer, Short Story Author and Contributor to The Chicken Soup for the Soul Series)


Thank you to Mary and all my friends who want to laugh. 

AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE: (copy and paste)





Free Books @



ZippityZern's Uncommon Nonsense - A Declaration    byLinda Zern

Price: Free! 5320 words. Published on July 6, 2012. Fiction. 
In book two of Linda L. Zern's series "ZippityZern's Uncommon Nonsense" better known as "the blue book," the author continues to observe, deduce, and comment on life and living. Topics include the proper way to freak out over discovering porn in a teenage boy's room, teaching the young and impressionable the fine art of toilet plunging, and the proper use of paranoia as a parenting tool.






ZippityZern's Uncommon Nonsense - A Farmer's Almanac

Ebook Price: Free! 5440 words. Nonfiction by Linda Zern on November 25, 2011 

There are personal essays. There are creative non-fiction essays which are essays dressed up to go to a party, and then there are ZippityZern's essays, and that's a whole other kind of not-faux story dressed up to go to a party. Subjects covered in the Almanac include: gelding sheath cleaning and feral chicken trouble.

They're free. They're fun. They're funny. (Or so I've been told.)






Please be advised that the original works found on this website are copyrighted 2017 and are protected by dobermans, a yeti, and a really feisty pony--also God. The penalty for pretending that my writing is your writing is . . . well, I don't like to think about it, but remember plagiarizing makes you a cheater, and I can always write new stuff. Amen.