1.  It came to pass that my people, yea even the Zernites, did make an accounting of their doings in the Wilderness of Saint Cloud near the Tohopekaliga Sea. And we did number the people and the flocks and in so doing we did witness a great increase and we did see the Lord’s hand in all our doings.

2.  And now I would that ye might know that we did laugh much and rejoice;  also we did weep for the lost and mourn, but in the end our God was with us.

3.  And it came to pass that the devil did try us and did tempt us in the wilderness to lose our patience and curse overmuch. The devil having taken possession of              our John Deere lawn tractor.  And this wicked spirit did cause the front left tire to go flat, but not always, and did cause the weld bead on the mower deck to snap off so that the mower blade did drag overmuch but not mow.  Thus we see that purchasing of an extended warranty from the Home Depot did bring no comfort, for the devil was in the warranty also, and it did no good thing, for it was said of the lawn mower deck that it was a thing accursed—also neglected.

4.  For we were called lawn mower abusers and we did feel shame—also embarrassment—for our John Deere had seen much of affliction and sorrow—also tree stumps covered by much wheat and tares.  And it was thrown in our face that we had been negligent in the washing and waxing of our three year old lawn tractor.  And we did feel woe, which is to say deep sorrow and regret even unto damnation for our foolishness.

5.  So it was whispered of our tribe—the Zernites, by the tribes round about the land near unto us, that we were a silly people; in that we did try to mow our sixish acres overmuch with a too small lawn tractor, and so we did mourn for the disdain of our neighbors with their mighty grass slicers, hay hackers, and dirt shovers.

6.  But then we did cease to hide our faces in shame for we did laugh at our trials for we did know and understand that the “grass is always greener on the other side of the fence—also easier to mow.”  And their wheat and tares are not given to such wicked rebellion as is our wheat and tares.

7.  But not withstanding our afflictions, our flocks and tribe did increase to include three horses, one puppy, one new daughter-in-law (even one Sarah of Saint Cloud), and Emma a delightsome grandchild.  In this selfsame year we did rejoice in the presence of Aric, who is like unto a great hero of old, being returned to us safely from the wars and rumors of wars across the salt sea.  We did also rejoice in our daughter Maren for she was greatly favored of the Lord in her academics and firmness in defending the right against the left at Stetson.  And also our son Adam had cause to rejoice in his winning of ten-thousand dollars for his goodly video making efforts and also Sarah for her mighty efforts as his helpmeet and wife.  And even Phillip of Bountiful, our son-in-law, did prosper in his job and become a much valued employee and director of marketing, in the which his wife, even Heather, did feel great pride.

8.  And now I would that ye might know that our father and patriarch, even Sherwood the mighty hunter, did laugh overmuch at the antics of the rising generation—even Zoe, Conner, and Emma—which did cause their parents to fear that he might allow these, even the youth of our tribe, to ride ponies naked while carrying scissors if they did so wish it.  And he did indulge the rising generation greatly.  

9.  Yet our blessings did multiply in spite of earth, hell, and Home Depot.  And thus endeth my accounting of this our tribe in a land flowing with milk and honey.  And I, even Linda the Ya-Ya, would that ye might know that we do look with eagerness and hope to the new year and all that might be our lot—yea, both good and ill—for we know that it is the hand of God which doth show us a more excellent way.  
       

      

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