“Does that say what I think it says?” 

My husband slid his reading glasses to the end of his nose and read out loud, “Contestants catapult into foam and tackle obstacles – Reality Television.”

“That’s what I thought it said.” I sighed. “Man if I had a nickel for every time I have had to catapult into foam and tackle something. Why just today, Conner took a nap on the couch, peed through the cushion (which is foam, by the way), and I had to tackle getting the delightful smell of toddler urine out of the sofa.”

“That’s reality for you,” he said. 

And isn’t it just.

So, I’ve been writing an essay, of sorts, every week, for about ten years—mostly about catapulting myself into foam and tackling obstacles; you know, reality. Occasionally, I write a disclaimer about my work, also a warning. 

So let this serve as a disclaimer and a warning: To “get” my writing, it can help to be familiar with the concepts of satire, irony, caustic mockery, and sarcastic self-deprecation. If you’re looking for Three Stooges eye poking humor, move along. No seriously, keep moving. Mostly, I go for witty, but often miss and hit the acerbic mockery bulls-eye. 

For example:
Satire (seeking to expose wrong or folly to ridicule): Here’s me making a satiric comment using the above mentioned example of “reality” –They were a people given to much foam catapulting and obstacle tackling while Lilliput burned. And no, Lilliput is not a town from the musical Oliver, as suggested by my husband.

Sardonic (an adjective meaning scornful; mocking; cynical; or derisive): It looks like some of those female contestants came with their own foam padding built right in—their shirts!

Ironic (suggests a milder & subtler form of mockery): I’m so happy that there is a television show that finally shows life as it truly is, a series of foam covered rotating fanny paddles that fling human beings into a soup of muddy goop, while the gods on Mount Olympus laugh. Oh boy, can we watch it every night?

Sarcasm: Oh boy, can we watch it every night?

Caustic (biting or corrosive): If this “reality” show isn’t an indication that civilization is dead as we know it, I will eat that foam pillow
.
Wit (one skilled in repartee, humor, sarcasm, irony): Sweetheart, if you make me watch the foam catapulting obstacle show, I will stab you with a sharp object not covered in foam. Okay, this sentence may be less about wit and more about statements that can be used against a person in a court of law.

So be warned. I am a writer with strong opinions about foam, catapults, and Lilliput. So it you’re easily offended by strong opinions, expressed with the spice of caustic humor keep your eyes closed at all times while reading. Thank you and have a nice day.

Linda (Read ‘Em and Weep) Zern